Topic: Life
Well it's day five of my campaign to quit smoking, and amazingly nobody is dead yet... although there have been a few close calls, believe me.
Take day two, for example. There were three cherub like children at the Verizon store, playfully frolicking about happily as the chased each other around their pregnant mother... and I wanted SO badly to squash them into a bloody paste into the store carpeting just to restore the peace and quiet that was my world before they had entered the store.
Cutting down from a nearly three pack a day habit to three cigarettes... yes, you heard me correctly, three cigarettes. It will be a miracle if I don't commit a homicide before the month of June is over.
I am determined to be successful this time, despite my enjoyment of smoking. Between paying $50+ a carton, the smell it leaves behind on my clothing and furnishings, the black thumb I often carry because of my zippo lighter, and lets not forget the burn trail of an escape cherry from the tip of my cigarette... I'm 41, its time to shake the monkey.
It's hard to look ahead at this point. As I sit here and type this all I can think about is how bad I want to smoke a cigarette. It's frustrating to the point of hair pulling, but I try to think ahead, assuring myself that it will get easier as time passes and the desire to smoke will eventually lessen. However, that is little consolation at the moment... although a goal I WILL reach, come hell or high water.
As sanity comes and goes, I will try to keep this blog up to date with my progress (lol if it can truly be called that).
Be well and brightest blessings.