Jade's Blog

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

The Ravens & The Butterfly
Topic: Life
I've fallen back on bad habits.

My chronic insomnia has kicked into high gear and I have been awake most of the night/morning. I'm incredibly tired, but unable to relax enough to drift off to sleep.

Every time I close my eyes, my head seems to become flooded with a myriad of thoughts. My mind races, and I am unable to stop the chaos and noise that rattles in my brain.

Perhaps if I pour it all out in my blog I will be able to finally succumb to my own exhaustion.

My relationship with Ken is still somewhat strained, but we've seemed to have finally leveled out onto equal ground. We're nowhere close to "normal" yet, but the tension between us seems to have eased up. Hopefully time will bridge the chasm that seems to have opened up between us recently. For both our sakes.

In my previous blog entry I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and kind of got over-swept with all the sadness, fear and despair that death unfortunately evokes.

However, as is typical in pain everyone experiences in the grieving process, I had edited out one crucial moment in that awful Thursday morning as I became lost in my own melancholy. A moment that, at least for a brief tick of time, gave me a sense of comfort and eased my soul.

After I had cleaned the mattress and linen from the bedroom, I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette.

A hearse was waiting in the driveway to take Ken's father to the funeral home as I stepped out onto the front porch. I remember feeling a cold sense of disbelief as I stared at it while leaning against my old Dodge Daytona.

It seemed oddly quiet in a disconcerting kind of way.

Then I heard a familiar sound. One Ken and I had gotten very used to when we were living in the house on Dennison Street. It was the caw of a Raven.

I looked up to see it as it landed on the street lamp near the driveway and within moments it was joined by a mate.

The silence of the morning was broken by their loud conversation with one another as they sat staring down at the world below them.

They were beautiful and I was comforted by their company.

You see, most people in our society today would view their appearance as something ominous or unnerving... but not me or Ken. For us, Ravens are an integral and inspiring totem of our spiritualities.

In Celtic mythology, the Raven (associated with the God Bran) symbolizes protection, initiation and healing. They are seen as messengers of the spirit world. Harbingers and heralds between the living and the dead.

In Norse mythology, Odin (Ken's patron) is closely accompanied by two Ravens known as Huginn (Thought) and Muninn (Memory). Those of you who know Ken have no doubt seen their effigy on his right arm.

It is because of Odin's association with them that he is often referred to as the "Raven God".

Huginn and Muninn's duty to Odin was to fly over the world of Midgard as scouts and return with information. They also accompanied Odin's fallen warriors on their journey to Valhalla.

I couldn't help but think that those two Ravens were there as favor for Ken to watch over his father as he journeyed to his final place. I was consoled by that thought and even managed a brief smile as I stood there watching them.

Then from the corner of my eye, a small fluttering caught my attention and I noticed a butterfly dancing around the front door of the house. Itself a universal symbol of transformation, but particularly for the Celts who viewed it as a symbol of rebirth. An important concept within Celtic mythology.that taught that spiritual and physical life was constantly renewed and recycled to the next generation.

In that moment, at least for me, the symbols of the Ravens and the Butterfly seemed to converge on one another. Journey and rebirth. A gentle reminder of my beliefs and my spirituality. A gesture from my deities and Ken's deities that they had felt our tears and wanted to us to remember who we were and what was in our souls.

As the loss and heartache that the death of Ken's father has engraved into me heals and the memory of that horrible day fades over time, I hope that I never forget those Ravens or that Butterfly.

They are all that I want to hang onto right now, and the only vision that will give me comfort enough to rest and perhaps even sleep.

Brightest Blessings.

Posted by spiritiger at 5:46 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Thursday, 17 September 2009

The Silence is Deafening.
Topic: Life
It's always been a mystery to me how I could be surrounded by people and feel completely alone... and lately, I have felt more alone that I ever have.

It isn't as though I don't have people close to me that I could pour my heart out to, yet it is my pen or keyboard that seems to be the ear I feel most comfortable to bend right now.

Our closest friends know that Ken's father died last Thursday, but don't know the depths of it. The unsurpassed ugliness of it.

Ken's father was not sick. He had not suffered a long battle with an illness. He spent that Wednesday with his eldest son, his namesake, working on a mobility scooter for a friend of ours whom he had never met. That night, he and his wife Bev went to bed like they always did.

We received a phone call around 4 am from Ken's mother that his father had stopped breathing. Within minutes of being on the road to his parent's home, we were notified that the paramedics had stopped working on him and that he was not going to be transported to the hospital. That it was over.

I'm 41 years old. I've received many phone calls over the years telling me that someone has passed away (By the way, I despise the phrase "passed away" as it sounds disingenuous and trite). There was always a somber voice on the other end of the line telling me when the viewing and funeral was. Typical really. But this time it would be anything but typical.

When we arrived at his parent's house, we were greeted with the sight of police cars and an emergency vehicle with lights flashing.

We did not walk, We ran as fast as we could through the front door of the house.

His mother looked so small and pale as she sat in her husband's chair in the living room in her robe and slippers. I'm not even sure that she saw us at first. Like us, she was completely in shock... but for her, I suspect it was much more vivid.

Ken and I were told in a very professional sounding tone by one of the officers that we were not allowed to go back to the master bedroom. It was at that moment I realized that Ken's father was still in the house.

Ken and I held his mother as tight as we could.

Blue uniforms marched in and out of the front door, giving hardly a glance to any of us. I could see the coffee table that usually sat at the end of his parent's bed jutting out like a splinter in a sore out of the bedroom door. Out of place and disturbing. I battled back the questions, but they were flooding my head.

After about 30 minutes after we arrived an investigator came over to talk with us. It's kind of a blur. I remember the words "standard procedure" and something about it being typical that police investigate when someone dies suddenly in their home. I do remember feeling a tinge of outrage that Bev was being made to go all through all this at the cusp of the unexpected death of her husband. Procedure be fucking damned.

I don't know how much time passed after that, but eventually that same investigator told us that a coroner had been called and would be arriving at the scene momentarily. He gave his opinion at that point that Ken's father had most likely died of some type of coronary arrest due to purpling that was on his chest and the small amount of vomit around his mouth. He went on further to say that he believed it to be sudden as his hands weren't clenched, but relaxed at his sides.

He told us that his people were finished and that if we wanted to we could go back and see him. Bev didn't want to. I asked Ken if he wanted to and he quietly made his way down the hallway and looked through the doorway at his father. It's not that I didn't want to see him, but in my mind he wasn't there anymore. Whatever remained in that room was only a shell.

I caught a glimpse of his bare legs and small feet from the bathroom doorway. His legs were already beginning to turn blue. I remember being amazed at how such a big man could have such small feet. But, he had contracted Polio as an infant. He had never walked without crutches and at the end he had been completely confined to his mobility scooter.

I felt ashamed at myself for seeing even that much of him. With just that brief glimpse, I knew that he was not dressed. That he was in nothing but his underwear. I felt like I was disrespecting him somehow by seeing him in that state.

I shifted my sight up from the floor and saw the bed. Disheveled, a pool of urine on his father's side of the bed.

I wanted to feel sick, I wanted to feel horrified... all I felt was numb.

The coroner finally came and after evaluating the condition of his father's body determined that he had suffered an pulmonary embolism. As a result of his inactivity, blood had pooled in his legs and feet causing a blood clot that most likely traveled to his lungs and into his heart. It had been instant.

We then had to wait for the funeral home to come and remove the body of Ken's father so that they could begin preparing it for preservation (embalming).

Ken's father was over 300lbs. Two men, one of them quite small were all that the funeral home sent over. So Ken, with the help of his cousins Mike and Mark, had to help them lift his father's uncovered body from the bedroom floor to the gurney. I was silently enraged that Ken had to be involved in such a gruesome and painful task.

They had to use Ken's knife to cut the sheet they were using to lift him because it got snagged on the bottom of the doorway and the one the funeral home people then used it to cut the breathing tubes free of his father's mouth.

The moment his father's body was removed from the room and covered up with a blue velvet shroud. I seemed to go into auto-pilot. I was overwhelmed with the drive to clean up the bed before more family arrived at the house. Bev was too fragile, and Ken needed to be near her as something solid to lean on. I made up my mind that I had to do it.

I set to stripping the bed and removing the soiled sheets, and used scrubbing bubbles to scrub every inch of the top of the bed. I didn't think about what I was doing, or mull it over, I just did what needed to be done.

Ken removed the balloon and tube that the paramedics used to try to resuscitate his father from the bedroom dresser. I don't know why it was left behind.

It was one of the longest days and quietest days I can ever remember. Even the periodic sobbing from loved ones seemed oddly muted.

Even though my heart ached for Ken and his family every time a tear was shed, I felt empty somehow. Like whatever it was I was personally feeling about a man I loved and respected was lost somewhere else. Even now as I write these words, I still feel that way.

I'm not a family member. I'm not a family friend. I don't know what I am.

The only feeling that seems to be overwhelming me at the moment is a sense of being utterly alone.

Ken is a part of a very big and very close, tight-knit family. If I weren't here he would have his siblings, cousins, and his mom there beside him in this very painful time. He isn't lacking for loved ones who would willingly and gladly offer their shoulder to him.

All of them are there if ever he needed to talk about his feelings and to share his grief with them,

On any other occasion I would talk to Ken about my feelings, my sorrow. A man who was my best friend long before we were ever romantically involved. But this time, I can't. He's too close to the situation. It is his father, the man he loved dearly and admired who is gone.

Since that horrible Thursday, I have felt like a reluctantly tolerated outsider from little things that have happened, certainly not spitefully or even consciously I don't think. To be fair I have been a raw open wound since his father died and I can't really trust my reactions to anything right now. Everything hurts, no matter how insignificant.

I don't feel I have a right to mourn or to cry. Every time I break a little and the tears start I feel like I am being selfish and inconsiderate and I get angry with myself, I feel like I should just suck it up and that me feeling whatever I am feeling is insignificant to what Ken and his family are feeling right now.

I tried once to talk to Ken about how I'm feeling, but it turned into an argument as he is understandably very protective of his family right now and he saw my hurt as an attack on them. I didn't mean for it to be, but we just aren't in the same place right now. Our view of the world right now is from completely different sides of the equator I think.

Realistically I feel like I am on a whole other planet all unto myself.

A very deep part of myself is afraid the pain and the confusion affecting both of us will rip us apart rather than pull us together. We just can't seem to be able to connect right now and are miles apart though we are in the same room together. It's horrible and I have been physically sick to my stomach for days.

If it breaks us, I suppose its not meant to be. But I cannot bear to even think about that right now. I'm barely hanging on as it is.

I feel like just one more grain of sand on the scale and I will completely tip over and everything will break apart.

Damn it! Why is it so easy for me to silently type all this ugliness out and hide within myself if anyone close to me encourages me to talk to them about this? I am such a fucking coward.

I tell myself its to spare them the discomfort of being drawn into my problems, but deep down I know that is bullshit. I know that after all these years of building walls around myself they've grown too thick and solid for me to build a door at this stage in my life.

I never meant to isolate myself, but that is exactly what I've done.

Thank Goddess hardly anyone reads my blog. I know how pathetic I am being right now and there just seems to be no end to it and grows more vivid with each passing moment.

Just shut up, Jade. Shut up.

Posted by spiritiger at 12:45 PM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Friday, 26 June 2009

Day Five of Quitting Smoking.
Topic: Life
Well it's day five of my campaign to quit smoking, and amazingly nobody is dead yet... although there have been a few close calls, believe me.

Take day two, for example. There were three cherub like children at the Verizon store, playfully frolicking about happily as the chased each other around their pregnant mother... and I wanted SO badly to squash them into a bloody paste into the store carpeting just to restore the peace and quiet that was my world before they had entered the store.

Cutting down from a nearly three pack a day habit to three cigarettes... yes, you heard me correctly, three cigarettes. It will be a miracle if I don't commit a homicide before the month of June is over.

I am determined to be successful this time, despite my enjoyment of smoking. Between paying $50+ a carton, the smell it leaves behind on my clothing and furnishings, the black thumb I often carry because of my zippo lighter, and lets not forget the burn trail of an escape cherry from the tip of my cigarette... I'm 41, its time to shake the monkey.

It's hard to look ahead at this point. As I sit here and type this all I can think about is how bad I want to smoke a cigarette. It's frustrating to the point of hair pulling, but I try to think ahead, assuring myself that it will get easier as time passes and the desire to smoke will eventually lessen. However, that is little consolation at the moment... although a goal I WILL reach, come hell or high water.

As sanity comes and goes, I will try to keep this blog up to date with my progress (lol if it can truly be called that).

Be well and brightest blessings.

Posted by spiritiger at 11:59 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Friday, 22 May 2009

Pagan Challenge (20 Questions)
Topic: Life
Recently, on YouTube, a user by the name of TheStallion76 (an atheist) posted a video challenging Pagans to answer 20 questions which he had listed in the description box of the same video.

Unfortunately, his channel has been suspended by YouTube and his video subsquently removed, so I can no longer attach my response video to his.

If you don't "tube", you are probably unaware of the votebotting and false flagging campaigns that are plaguing the YouTube service.

Four users have had their channels/accounts unfairly suspended in the past week alone; Tsumetashi22, Coughlan666, TheStallion76 and dprjones. All atheists.

Presumably these votebot and false flagging attacks are coming from a very select group of fundamentalist Christian creationists.

It's monumentally frustrating and saddening to me that these types of "I'm right!" minded individuals are so successful in censoring the opinions of those that disagree with their particular point of view. So much so that I have created two subsequent channels on competing video websites; Ning and FilmRookie, and I will include the links to my channels on these sites at the bottom of this blog if anyone is interested.

I haven't decided yet if I intend to deactivate my YouTube channels, but I will be sure to blog about my conclusion if indeed I come to one.

Anyway, on with the questions...

Pagan Challenge (20 Questions) - TheStallion76
1. Why don't you push your religion like Christians and Muslims do? Such as: knock on doors, preach in a church, indoctrinate your children?
2. Why do you think Christians burned Pagan literature and murdered pagans throughout history?
3. Why do you think the men of the bible are considered heroes for murdering Pagans?
4. Is sex immoral, as well as homosexuality? Please explain why.
5. Why do you think Christians have a problem with alternative (oral/anal) sex?
6. Describe in detail what happens to us when we die.
7. Is it against the Pagan belief system to marry an atheist?
8. Can you think of one original unique thing Jesus said that wasn't already taught in the Pagan religion?
9. Why do you think Christians stole your holidays? example, Easter, Christmas, Halloween, etc.
10. If you were hanging over a cliff, in your left hand, a Christan was dangling, in the right, an atheist, which would you let go in order to survive? If you don't choose to let go of one, you all fall. Explain why.
11. What are your views on abortion and capital punishment? and why?
12. Why does Christianity seem so similar to older pagan religions?
13. What is the difference between a pagan and a fluffy bunny?
14. How does one go about becoming a pagan?
15. Did you originally grow up in a christian home?
16. Describe the attributes of your god, or gods, if you have many.
17. If you had to choose a religion outside of paganism, which would it be, and why?
18. Would nature feel any remorse for your suffering and death?
19. What would it take to go against your own moral code?
20. Would you give up your entire belief system if in return, there was world peace?

So, Pagans, how would you answer?

Here is my video response that I made to TheStallion76's challenge:

Re: Pagan Challenge (20 Questions) - TigerOfSpirit

Spiritiger - My Ning Channel
http://spiritiger.ning.com/
FilmRookie :: Spiritiger Channel
http://www.filmrookie.com/community_channel.php?te_class=user_profiles&te_mode=view&te_key=2267

Thank you, and brightest blessings.

Posted by spiritiger at 8:10 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

An Aquarian's Fire
Topic: Life
Previously...

Friday, April 10, 2009
in a post entitled: A Cold Medicine Mellow

I wrote the following about one of the passages in the Wiccan Rede and what it means to me:
[Live and let live, fairly take and fairly give.]

Exist within the boundaries of your conscience and what you know instinctively to be right and to be wrong, and respect the truth as it exists for others without malice or selfish desire to change their truth. Receive, unselfishly, that which is shared with you whether it be tangible or intangible and be prepared to give the same, in kind, without regret.

I'd like to focus on the end of that statement, "be prepared to give the same, in kind, without regret".

On the surface, some might take this as being a some type of charitable statement akin to a conferring or imparting. A gift; a benefaction or similar positive outcomes, and although this sentiment is no doubt included for me in this definition, I would like to expand on the more unspoken meaning often overlooked.

Let's say, for example, someone in your life, in a time of personal distress or hardship, offers you an outlet for that upset either in listening to you or aiding you. This is, unarguably, a gift of this person to you, and common sense would suggest that you would be willing and motivated to do the same for that person if/when that situation arises.

However, not all contributions that are received are positive in this way.

Unfortunately, there are times when we and the people that we love; friends and family are the targets of slander, hate, violence, bigotry and similar intolerant attacks. For me, personally, I believe that this passage in the Wiccan Rede applies to these types of injustices as well.

I would never advocate violence, unless the lives of those that I love were physically threatened. For the sake of the defense of their lives, I would use any means necessary to ensure their safety and survival. Live and let live... unless yours or someone else's life is literally and physically threatened.

Fairly take, and fairly give.

I may be a hippie, but I don't take shit from anyone.

If someone or a group makes false and slanderous accusations against me, my family or my friends, fully expect that I will speak out against that person or person's treacherous lies... and loudly so. Tit for tat.

This more than falls into the realm of "fairly take, and fairly give", in my opinion.

Having made that statement, I would like to address some of the content in the latest video I posted (Paganism banned from youtube.) in my blog entitled Speechless... And Losing Hope...

[Claim #1 in the video Paganism banned from youtube.] Quote:
"The reasons for the protest are for reasons beyond freedom of speech or religion. We do this to aid the youth or America, and the impressionable of our society..."

This person or persons cannot claim that the protest is beyond freedom of speech or religion and then spend nearly six minutes in a diatribe against religions, based on fictitious accusations, that oppose the teachings of Christianity.

Further, it is incredulous arrogance to assume that since this person(s) beliefs follow that of Christianity as they see it, that this somehow infers that they are right in some way and all others who share a view different from their own are concretely wrong. How conceited as well they are in arrogating what rights the youth and 'impressionable' should have through their own self observation by denying all other views through their terrorist acts of censorship.

As a mother, I find this appalling. I've raised my son to be self-sufficient, and free thinking. He is both intelligent, open-minded and follows his own path. How dare these idiots believe that they have the unmitigated right to tell my son what he should or should not believe based on innuendos and lies instead of his own free thought.

[Claim #2 in the video Paganism banned from youtube.] Quote:
"One day YouTube will be a safe haven for Christians. We'll not have to worry anymore about being persecuted by these wicked, wicked religions of hate."

Persecuted?! PERSECUTED?! Pardon my uncontrollable laughter at this ridiculous statement.... on second thought, don't.

Having one's personal belief or faith challenged by an opposing or differing view does NOT constitute "persecution".

Persecution is when you are tortured, killed or both due to your personal belief. Persecution is when your country's people are STRIPPED of it's cultural heritage and traditions because of an opposing religion's concerted effort of converting and indoctrinating them into their own faith. Persecution is when you steal the traditions and festivals of other spiritualities in an effort to annihilate competition of your religious holidays. Persecution is when a Wiccan soldier killed in war is denied a pentacle on his headstone to represent his faith.

They have no right to use the word "persecuted".

[Claim #3 in the video Paganism banned from youtube.] Quote:
"Paganism is responsible for the decline of civilized life in America... We have proven that Paganism has stolen all of their ideas from the bible... Paganism and Wicca are one of the reasons for the spike in suicides among teens... All Pagans are depraved and very hateful."

The lagging standards of our educational system are responsible for the decline of our American civilization, this is a fact, but the accountability of Paganism in regard to this decline is fiction. Period, end of this portion of their statement.

Stating that they have proof that Paganism has stolen all of their ideas from the bible is the most ridiculous and idiotic statement I think I've ever heard. Never mind that they don't back this statement with any evidential proof whatsoever to support this erroneous claim, I have two words for them; Christmas (look up Saturnalia) and Easter (look up Ostara). Give me a break!

Medical studies have linked selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to the increased suicidal thoughts in teens and young people.

"The vast majority of young people who complete suicide have some sort of psychiatric disorder. Most commonly depression or some mood disorder," says John Campo, MD, Nationwide Children's Hospital.

Further, the website Troubled Teens Home says, "Followers of religions that strongly prohibit suicide, like Christianity and Islam, have a higher suicide rate than those religions which have no strong prohibition (e.g. Buddhism and Hinduism)."

So, clearly, Paganism and Wicca have nothing to do with the increase in teen suicide.

Finally, we come to the name calling portion of the video: "All Pagans are depraved and hateful." - very interesting rhetoric coming from a video which in itself can be described as "depraved and hateful" given the falsehoods and lies within its content.

Individuals can be depraved and hateful within society, regardless of their spirituality or religion. However, it would be disingenuous to liken an entire religious group to these failings. It would be equivalent to we Pagans saying that "All Christians are intolerant, homophobic bigots" and contain about as much truth, which is to say none.

Just my educated opinion.

Brightest blessings.

(Paganism banned from youtube, posted by WarFare4Ever at https://www.youtube.com/user/Warfare4Ever. Feel free to check out the channel for yourselves.)

Posted by spiritiger at 4:45 PM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Speechless... And Losing Hope...
Topic: Life
Previously in this blog:
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Chocolate Cigarettes & A Malfuctioning Inner Clock
Category: Life

I wrote:
"Who do you think will be next targets on the food chain once the atheists are silenced?"

Nearly 2 am again, as I come on here to write about the trivialities that are my life... and it seems that the words that I wrote above seem to be becoming prophetic.

I can't even find the words to describe how I am feeling at the moment. It's just sort of a stew of hurt, anger, hopelessness and disbelief.

If you are a Pagan and truly love your Pagan brothers and sisters, I urge you to watch the video below....

Paganism banned from youtube.

The lies... the contemptible baseless and false accusations that are casually and without emotion uttered by the ugly voice of a text reader fills me with such disgust, it literally leaves a taste of bile in my throat.

These people didn't even have the courage to face the camera or, at the very least, spit their venomous deceptions with their actual voice(s). Instead they chose to cower behind anonymity while they concocted their poisonous prevarications. Favoring instead, to attack my path and the people, whom I love and share similar Pagan beliefs with, from the craven and filth filled shadows.

When I heard the words "All Pagans are depraved and very hateful", I felt physically nauseous.

How could anyone be so cruel as to spread such spiteful and hurtful untruths about Pagans, my people, my tribe?

All I could see when those words were spoken, were the wonderful and loving faces of the people I know and love; Selena Fox, Moonfeather, all of the amazing Satyrs, and my camp kids Pele, Jase, Luno, Monica and Eric.

These are some of the warmest, most giving and kind people I have ever known, arguably the best people I will ever know and for anyone, even a sniveling computer voice, to make such an empty and despicable statement, so void of merit and wretched with groundless maleficent accusations filled me with such rage it was a very real physical sensation.

It doesn't even matter if any of the Pagans I know are hurt by this video, the mere fact that it attempted to do so, pisses me off.

Every day, another voice gets silenced on YouTube, and another and another simply because they disagree with the Christian dogma. Now, it seems its our turn.

I know BlueFireWitch. I am subscribed to her channel and she is on my friend's list, and I have watched the videos of nearly every person this coward and his minions have put into the crosshairs with their pathetic video.

These targets are good people with good hearts and open minds, who have done NOTHING to warrant the wrath of these ignoble assholes. The only injustice they are guilty of, is in speaking out about what they believe in, that is the real danger for these zealous fanatics... free thought and free will.

I think I'm finally losing hope that free speech will ever be possible on YouTube or any other self broadcasting internet website.

However, if free speech breathes it's last breath on the interent, I will say it now, and say it forever...

I am PROUD to be PAGAN!

Brightest blessings.

Spiral Rhythm - I Am Pagan

Posted by spiritiger at 1:49 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Paganism From My Perspective.
Topic: Life
I hold no advanced degree such as 'High Priestess'. I'm just a simple solitary, so please do not perceive this as anything more than just an elementary statement of my personal beliefs, and as such, it is only opinion.

If this provides anyone else with any moderate amount of enlightenment, then I am truly grateful.

I follow two deities; the Goddess Brigid, and the God Cernowain. Both are warrior type deities.

Brigid is the fire Goddess (often represented by a forge and hearth). She is also the Goddess of poetry, healing and creativity and represents the mother aspect of the 'Triple Goddess'. Her symbols are often the triquetra or 'Brigid's Cross'.

Cernowain is the 'God of Nature'. His aspects are virility, fertility, sex, nature, the woodlands, and wealth. He is the 'Horned God' and is God of the underworld. His symbol is primarily a stag.

I do not believe that the deities I follow, nor any other deities within Paganism/Neo-paganism itself, created the earth, the universe or beyond. Quite the contrary, in fact. I believe the earth and the universe created the deities within our varying paths.

If we are born of the elements; earth, water, air, and fire. It stands to reason that so too are the deities we follow as many, in fact, symbolize those same elements. Brigid with fire, Cernowain with earth and so forth with all of the deities within the innumerable pantheons.

Perhaps this is why Evolution makes such perfect sense to me. The Big Bang (fire), the Primordial ooze (water), Abiogenesis (air), and the Ordovician era (earth).

This gives a new perspective to the chant we all know and love "Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit".

I think this is why I tend to get annoyed when atheists use the generic term of "religion" in their diatribes against the ideology of a "divine" having created the earth, the universe, and the unknown.

It is a complete generalization to assume that all religions believe similar ideologies as Judaism in regards to a "creator" deity (or deities). Paganism is no way shape or form synonymous with Christianity, Catholicism, Judaism or any other linear relative of those religions.

If the issue for atheists in regards to religion is solely based on the scientific theory of evolution and how it relates to the belief in a "creator", then their arguments should be directed to those who follow that specific ideology.

The word 'religion' includes all religion and Paganism is, in the most basic of terms, a religion (although, personally, I prefer 'spirituality').

I am Pagan. As such, I believe in the balance of nature through environmental preservation, charitable and selfless giving to those in need, and ritual magic of restoration and healing. Through this, we strive to find balance within ourselves and to aid in balancing those around us.

Brightest Blessings.

Spiral Rhythm - Element Chant

Posted by spiritiger at 12:35 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Chocolate Cigarettes & A Malfuctioning Inner Clock
Topic: Life
So, here I am at 2:00 am in the morning. Awake and restless while Ken lies peacefully beside me in a deep sleep... jerk! (Don't worry, I don't really mean it.)

Popping on here was probably a mistake given I am a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. Blogging, for me, means proof-reading repeatedly and correcting spelling and grammatical errors. In other words, writing a few paragraphs entails a couple of hours of work usually.

I am sitting here at the moment, contemplating the fate of YouTube and it's users while smoking 'Dreams' Belgian Blend Mocha cigarettes (yeah, yeah, I know... it's bad for me) and sipping Arizona Green Tea.

If you've been reading any of my entries lately in this blog, you are doubtlessly aware of my more personal issues with YouTube, my friends and their struggles with censorship, as well as their ideological battles. Battles, I often find myself in the middle of in some fashion.

Perhaps it's my warrior nature, or my inner tiger spirit, maybe it's in my Irish blood. In truth, I've always been the type that thumbs her nose at conflict, daring the consequences whatever they may be. An attitude that often directs me into a mess of trouble, and probably deservedly so.

A few days back, I had a couple of videos embedded in one of my blogs concerning recent suspensions and votebot attacks on YouTube. One of them, was about a user named Cozmikzen.

Cozmikzen, who later took on the identity 'Kozmikzen' due to the suspension of his channel, is a self-proclaimed anarchist and an atheist. Most of the video blogs that he made were angry diatribes against Christianity and their god, where he often profanely ranted against their religion.

He and I became somewhat friends recently. We discussed our differences in ideology respectively through PMs, and by all accounts I can say that he is honestly a decent guy and I enjoyed our conversations.

Kozmikzen had a razor-sharp edge when he presented his opinions in his videos, and he aspired, he told me, in being controversial. Unfortunately for him, however, it turned out that he was too controversial apparently. Both of the channels he created after YouTube shut down his innitial channel; Kozmikzen and CozmikzenArchives, have both been suspended as well.

I've since lost contact with him and do not know if he intends to return to YouTube.

The video that had been flagged for being 'inappropriate for minors' then later removed shortly before his suspension, was entitled "DEATH TO GOD". An inflammatory title to be sure, and the language within the video was indeed 'colorful', but I don't believe it deserved the censorship it received (Due to strong language and content, here is the link: (video "Death to God" no longer available). If you wish, you can judge for yourself.

To be honest, I am going to miss him. Although from appearances he might have appeared abrasive, outside the little box that played one side of him, he had a good heart and was open-minded about a great deal.

Perhaps, one could speculate due to the impending merger of YouTube with Hulu/Disney, Kozmikzen didn't fit into the wholesome and clean image that YouTube is trying to reform itself into, or so it is rumored.

The YouTube of 2009 is a completely different beast from the YouTube of 2006.

Gone is the original start page that listed the top favorite videos, replaced with a 'Popular' tab that usually lists clips of shows such as "American Idol", "The Ellen Show" and other network gems. There is an addition of pop-up ads that appear in the video along with a script of the same ad above the video description, and lets not forget the "partnered" channels who are part of the YouTube advertising community.

The motto, "Broadcast Yourself" should be replaced with "You Can't Broadcast Yourself, But You Can Watch Our Sponsers!".

It's a shame what YouTube has become.

Their site is plagued with hack software that can alter traffic statistics, ratings, even spam comments on videos to promote their websites. Monitoring and preventing these programs are a literal joke, as YouTube has yet to address and repair the issue that allows the effectiveness of these types of software. Meanwhile, there are idiots amok that falsely flag videos either because they simply disagree with the opinion in it, or equally invalid reasons and YouTube seemingly does no investigation into the claim and simply removes the video without question.

Their Terms of Service is a joke. In regards to people who do falsely or maliciously flag videos, none of these individuals ever seem to have their account suspended. The only people who are suspended are the individuals who's videos were flagged three times. Meanwhile, users like VenomFangX that file false DMCAs and use their channel to scam Christians out of money under the delusion of "charity" are left to flourish unmonitored without consequence. The kid had to make a legal public apology on YouTube for falsifying information (lying), and deception and yet is still on YouTube, more ironic, people are still sending him money!!

Why do I care? That's a question I have been asking myself recently. Why do I care about people I don't even know, about situations that don't directly involve me?

I suppose the answer to those questions are simple. It's a matter of free speech.

The internet has become the largest source of information. It is more powerful than newspaper, radio or television. It's instant access with no waiting in regards to news feeds, online books and encyclopedias, music and video at the touch of a keyboard. A medium from which the common man/woman can publicly take platform to express their beliefs and ideas, every second, from around the globe and they can do so independently without aide of a reporter or a camera man.

Millions of voices with millions of ideas. But if you deny one, just one the right to free speech, it is a chain reaction which subsequently will silence every voice... including yours and mine.

Who do you think will be next targets on the food chain once the atheists are silenced?

So, daily into the fray of YouTube I go. Receiving and seeking out videos who are unfairly flagged or removed and hosting mirrors of them on my channel. An often daunting, risky, and time consuming endeavor. If it negates the effects of censorship and promotes free speech then I believe it's worth the effort, but only time will tell.

The game will likely, and most assuredly change once Hulu and Disney become involved... if the rumors are true.

Anyway, that's what is on my mind at now 4 am in the morning, and I have a dentist appointment in a few hours so, I should probably try and get a little sleep.

Be well, brightest blessings, and I leave you with the following...

Evolucion:

Posted by spiritiger at 1:00 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Anthony Powell (Tony48219) - Thoughts.
Topic: Life
I'm not sure where to begin with this, so I suppose I'll just dive in.

Recently, I've seen a great deal of antagonism directed towards Tony Powell in video comments and video responses on YouTube.

I had no exposure to the video blogs made by Powell (commonly known on YouTube as Tony48219) until the recent tragedy in which he took a young woman's life and his own at a Michigan College. But since that sad event, I daily come across new clips of his now, notorious videos.

Powell, though his most recent channel has been stripped of his video content, had a lengthy documented history in where he espoused his intolerance towards Atheism and modern feminism, and touted his own version of Fundamentalist Christianity most of which was inspired by the mythology of the Old Testament.

It would be easy to blame Christianity or religion in general for Powell's actions on April 10th and use it as a platform in support of our own differing views. I mean, we Pagans often have more than one bone to pick with Fundamentalist and Evangelical Christians. Atheists too, in so far as the onslaught of ideological attacks that are thrown their direction by Christians daily on YouTube (just look up the name VenomFangX sometime).

Lets not confuse our personal issues in regards to Christianity with the reality that Anthony Powell had suffered from manic depression (also known as Bipolar Disorder) since childhood. A condition that causes unusual changes in the person’s mood, energy, and ability to function. A condition that Powell, himself, refused to acknowledge and refused to take medication for.

This condition, however, is not solely to blame as I have personally known several people who deal with manic depression, some more severe than others and none of them have the capacity to take the life of another human being, with or without medication.

I believe there are far more factors to Powell killing 20 year old Asia McGowan that are far more complex than his archaic views of Christianity, women or his manic depression. Most of which will undoubtedly never be discovered.

We will never know the real history of Anthony Powell, as we all keep secrets... even from our parents, family and friends. Most of which are painful and fill us with shame. Events that have nothing to do with religion, politics or science.

This does not excuse his actions. Nothing excuses the act of murdering an innocent life.

I suppose the point I am trying to make here is that Anthony Powell was a unique individual, not a generic example that can be applied to Christianity or mental illness. Implying that he killed Asia McGown because he was Christian or religious, is like saying "All people with a mental illness are potential killers". It is a dangerous and unfair generalization.

Just my thoughts.

In memory of Asia McGowan

https://www.youtube.com/user/asiamcgowan

Brightest blessings.

Posted by spiritiger at 1:13 PM
Updated: Tuesday, 27 October 2009 7:02 PM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Friday, 10 April 2009

A Cold Medicine Mellow.
Topic: Life
Lack of sleep and cold medicine has made me a little fuzzy around the edges, so try and bear with me if I seem to wander off-topic.

I've been giving some thought to Paganism and Neo-paganism in regards to how it applies to polytheism. Is it a collection of earth-based/nature-based religions, a collection of altering spiritualism, or is it a combination of these things? In truth, there are arguments that could support or disprove any one of these ideas depending on your personal view or belief.

For me, personally, Celtic Witta, which falls under the umbrella of Paganism, is more of a spirituality than a religion. I find myself often referring to myself as "spiritual" rather than "religious". The most likely reason for this is that the word "religious" still holds negative connotations for me, as I automatically relate it to "organized religion" and Christianity.

However, from society's point of view, Paganism and Neo-paganism is deemed generally as a religion (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/religion).

That being said, I recently ran across a video on YouTube entitled "Religion Breeds Mediocrity" where an Atheist friend of mine addresses a Christian who accused Atheism for being responsible for the mundanity that exists in our society. Feel free to watch the video below:

Given that he is an Atheist, I understand and accept his stance on religion in general. However, I found myself somewhat offended at his assertion that all religion is responsible for the mediocrity that exists. This is painting with a very broad brush, in my honest opinion.

The subject that 'nathanforst' addresses specifically in this video is 'accountability'. In the video he states, "I am accountable to myself and I am accountable to the people my actions have harmed". Hmmm.... does this idea resonate with any Pagans reading this? If you follow the 'Wiccan Rede', it should echo within you.

[‘An ye harm none, do what ye will.]

This is at the core of our beliefs and spirituality. It is this very final line of the 'Wiccan Rede' that we attach what is known as "The Three Fold Law", a three fold response to the energy/magick we effectually send forth both positively and negatively, which is also attributed to our actions towards others and is similar to the Karmic law of Hinduism. In the most simplistic of terms, within the boundries of the three fold law, that which you do either positively or negatively will come back to you either magnifed times three or on three separate occasions.

It is the golden rule among most Pagans, and holds us ultimately and solely responsible for our actions and there is no counter way out of this inevibility. There are and should be consequences for our actions.

Given that his argument was directed towards a Christian point of view, perhaps he should have entitled his video "Christianity breeds mediocrity" or even "[user name here] breeds mediocrity". I believe it would have been certainly a more fair statement than to generalize all religions as inclusive in this one Christian's opinions of Atheism.

Finally I would like to share with you the most important line in the 'Wiccan Rede' for me personally and what it means to me:

[Live and let live, fairly take and fairly give.]

Exist within the boundaries of your conscience and what you know instinctively to be right and to be wrong, and respect the truth as it exists for others without malice or selfish desire to change their truth. Receive, unselfishly, that which is shared with you whether it be tangible or intangible and be prepared to give the same in kind, without regret.

Brightest blessings.

Posted by spiritiger at 9:17 AM
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Newer | Latest | Older

«	October 2025					»

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31