Topic: Romance and Relationships
It's hard to believe that it's been twenty-two years, but that's how long Ken and I have been a part of each other's lives. Sometimes close. Sometimes distant. Always a constant. Never out of each other's heart or thoughts.
Since the night we met, there has always been an indescribable bond that has drawn us together, a sense of comfort, familiarity, and trust that I cannot explain.
Looking back, I can't imagine what he saw in me. I was 19 years old then, alarmingly close to my son's age. Not a child anymore, and not quite an adult either. A restless time, as I recall, that I seemed to feel a sense of urgency in being free of my parents and creating my own future.
When Ken met me, I was sitting at a table with a couple of people demonstrating a party trick that I had learned in high school. The trick is as follows (you will need a soft bread stick for this trick):
1) Cut a bread stick in half.
2) Drill a hold in one half of the bread stick with a straw.
3) Tear a napkin in half, ball it up in your hand, straighten, then roll into a tight the form of a.... er.... hand rolled cigarette.
4) Insert into the hole drilled into the bread stick and cut tip off other end of bread stick.
5) Light end with napkin, light and smoke.
Yes, this trick is completely juvenile and utterly pointless, which is why I was surprised when Ken came over and introduced himself. But, from that moment on, he and I quickly became the best of friends. Whether at my apartment, or at gaming club meetings, or just on the phone, we seemed to be able to talk about anything and everything for hours at a time... and we're still that way.
We have a history that spans two decades in which we have shared laughter, joy, anger and tears. Even when times were rough, which were happily rare, I don't think I would have changed a moment. All of our experiences have given us the wisdom and the strength in our relationship with one another.
Ken is the earth that gives my airy aquarian life foundation and balance. He is the anchor that keeps me tithed when the storms of chaos in this life roll in. I love him more than any word, in any language, could ever express.
People have asked us, "How have you managed to stay together for so long?". I wish I could answer that. Every couple is different, and so too is their relationship's history. I think it would be impossible to find one simple answer. The basics, I suppose, come down to this; 1) Be honest, and don't be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve, 2) All couples argue, just remember that's its not important to be in the right, just important to express your point of view, and finally 3) Accept and love your mate for who they are, not who you want them to be. The only person you can change is yourself.
Ken and I were never looking for someone when we had the luck of finding one another, and we were friends for three years before we became lovers. In the rush I see now of couples analyzing their compatibility online, people searching out Mr. or Ms. Right in bars, clubs and parties for "hook-ups" with hopes it will last more than the night, and all these ideas of instant gratification in an instant access world, I thank the Goddess that Ken and I came together in the way that we did. I believe our friendship is the core of our overall relationship.
Shortly after our relationship became romantic, I had to move away to another state in 1989. Our last goodbye was heartbreaking and painful. We were apart for six years, after living together through that summer. We kept in touch, sporadically, at first. However, we eventually lost contact. Through that time, I never stopped thinking about him or loving him.
When I returned, I found that after six years we were still as in love as we were all those years before. We also had one more thing in common. A favorite song. A song that while we were apart made us think about the other. It has now become our song. Here it is...
Happy Anniversary, baby. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you until my last breath.
Forever yours, Jade